Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The definition of motherhood

Week One.

Motherhood I have very quickly come to realise
is not what I had anticipated.

I have not become my mother
nor my grandmother.

I am not like my sister or aunties or cousins.
Motherhood is not a job
that you undertake and perform.

It cannot be learnt through a course
or copied from another.

My techniques for mothering will never be exactly
the same as another persons.


This is because I am myself.
I am indeed a unique soul
with a unique personality and wairua.

Therefore, how I choose to mother
is completely dependent on who I am as a person.

How I hold my child, how I smile, cuddle,
encourage and teach;

I will do so through the lenses of who I am.

Having come to this realisation has meant for me
two opposite responses;


Utter relief.
I do not need to compare myself to anyone
simply because there is no one to compare myself to.

How I parent is right - for me and my child.

Utter terror.
There is no course I can take,
no book to read, no guide to follow.

How I parent is different to anything
anyone has ever done before.


Luckily, I am also surrounded
by amazing mothers.


My mother

grandmother
aunties
cousins
sisters
friends
neighbours
colleagues

I can take lessons learnt;
thoughts shared;
experiences given;
gain knowledge on how they mother,
and in turn, understand how I want
to mother my own child.

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